It Don't Come Easy

For the past month, feeling more like FOREVER, I have been waiting for this new job to open up so I can give my old company the boot.

Yesterday, I was waiting on pins and needles waiting to hear something, something that had me answering every phone call which I am less inclined to do on the land line because we don't have caller id. And I think we have heard from every charity organization in the state and representatives of every Republican candidate in the last 2 weeks. All wanting money after monotonously reading me a script eschewing their virtues. I've finally gotten over my phobia of being rude, and I'm now hanging up on most of them. Because I'm practicing a little bit of selfishness. Something I have put down on my New Year's Resolution list. Ever heard of that?

I replied to a company superior, who turned me down for a raise earlier this year, that I would not be able to work overtime this weekend. That's only the second time I have told any manager that I cannot work OT in the 7 years I have worked for them. I didn't owe him anything. And instead of feeling guilty, I felt....free. Because when I had said "yes" in the past 2 years, I have actually felt....guilty. But that guilt was not only because I was depriving myself of much needed personal recreation and rest, but much needed time with my family, especially my son. And guess who is hitting the double digits starting next year?

I have never received a bonus with this company. We have never received across the board raises that we didn't have to have an "approved evaluation" to receive. I know it's bad, but I don't owe them anything. If I could travel, I would be making hand over fistfuls of money, and they know as my being a mom working from home, they've got me where they want me. They think of us as a dime a dozen. Some employees even had to take a pay cut a few years ago...and were told about it right before Christmas. And Christmas? This is hysterical. No cards, not even cheap gadgets that your geeky husband has more appreciation for than you do.

Well, no more.

I have told the recruiter of this other company what I want. And I have a HELLUVA lot to give clients and to any company that I work for. I'm tired of feeling that I have to be so subservient to anyone, and take abuse, just so I can thank God above that I have a job with them, as if nobody else would want to hire me. Gee that sounds like ...domestic abuse?

One thing that I will always be proud of myself about is that when I make up my mind about anything or anyone, 99.9% of the time, my mind will NOT be changed.

One of the company vice-presidents told my managers to budget a new computer for me in 2008. I burst out laughing. My typing fingers can be just as bad as my mouth sometimes....I so wanted to reply "I don't think that will be necessary.."

Change is scary, and I've sometimes questioned moving here, for instance. But I've looked back at my life and I think of all the chances I blew simply because of my fear of the unknown...of being comfy just by being "stagnant". I have to take chances.

I will not be afraid anymore. That actually, is on the top of my list for 2008.

And with that profound thought, I'll shut up again about the personal life and try to get interested in the news. And for starters, what I've read about Mike Huckabee ain't pretty. I will never vote for a bigot or anyone who demonizes others but can't take any criticism himself. Kind of like the Hildabeast herself.

I don't even know where or what happened to make him a Republican front-runner, I cannot find ONE Huck for Prez sign here where I live here in South Carolina, one of the early primary states.

Please let this nightmare pass. Please let this not be our nominee for President.

I dread November.